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Maybe It’s You…

Maybe It’s You…

Is it bad culture? Is it bad leadership? Or is it you?

It is far too easy to blame businesses and teams for bad leadership and culture, but we must also give equal consideration to the parties involved, including you, the team member.

Let’s do away with all the fancy terms and descriptions we use for work or business. Let’s call it what it is.. business is just a variation of dating. Seriously it’s dating.
A company puts up an add (like a dating profile), saying what they want, and potential team members (dates) apply.

So maybe you rushed into this relationship without really considering if you are the right fit for the company?

Now toxic culture and bad leadership must be fixed. We can not let such things slide. However, just like in any relationship, we can’t expect our partner to change for us and become something they aren’t.

“I am who I am. Love me or leave me”.

So if you want to work for an organisation that values mental health, that allows you to work remotely, or you can bring your pet to work; you need to say this on your first date (your interview). It’s only fair to all parties involved that we are honest about who we are, what we are, what we are willing to do and what we need. There is no need to date someone (employ) if they do not meet your needs.

For example, if you want to grow and develop within a company to move up the corporate ladder, yet the company only wants to turn and burn people and does not want to change those in power, then you aren’t a good fit. Taking a job at such a company, then blaming them for doing exactly what they said, is just a reminder, that you were not the right fit.

As a potential employee, you can’t go into a workplace that has never shown to value the things you do and expect them to change. You need to find an employer where your values align. Unless you are hired by that company to fix things, then that is a different story.


You’re probably sitting here thinking, “Shouldn’t employers do the right thing?” and the answer is yes. But when people keep throwing themselves at the company, and they get what they need, why change?

It’s like why would that sleazy guy change when he keeps getting women to date him when all he wants is to date lots of women? Needs are being met, so no value in change (short-sighted yes, however valid at the moment)

Companies, like people, won’t change unless there is pain and pressure. There must be something pushing them to change. Like when you decide to go to the gym and lose 20kg because you are upset you can’t run with your dog anymore. Motivation is the pain of loss and desire for something outside of your reach.

So how can we change these companies? What is the pain or pressure which we can apply?


By being honest with potential employers about what you want and need as a person is the first step. If a company continues to hear the same desired work standards, and potential candidates refuse to accept job offers, in time they will need to make changes.

The key part of this, is the refusal to accept the job. You can’t say “I must have A & B” than accept a job that doesn’t provide either. The employers’ needs are met, so again there is no purpose for them to change.

But it’s very important for us to remember, If you have accepted to work at a company that has never, and has been upfront about not planning to meet your needs, it’s not them, its you. And that is ok.

If we again consider business and work just as a variation of dating, we must all accept that not every person (job) is right for us, just like we are not right for every person (job). This can be a confronting realisation for many of us to understand that we are in the wrong industry or working for the wrong company.

Just because you aren’t right for them, doesn’t mean you aren’t right for someone else. And that goes both ways as an employee to employer, or employer to employee.
If you only want people who value team members, respect time off, and understand the value of boundaries and rest, then you need to seek those people out and turn away those who don’t meet your needs.

If you are a person in a position to make a change but aren’t sure how, our Workshops can assist you with developing new culture plans, understanding how to lead teams and moving your organisation in the direction of attracting only the right people, then contact us today.